“Hail Mary, Coach Wesson! Throw a Hail Mary!” was the cry of one of the fans in the stands at my husband’s football games.  He coached for over thirty years and I heard a lot of things yelled at him from the stands, but the memory of that phrase lingers for a couple of reasons.  First, the lady that called it out at every game was a great character and it was always shouted with such fervor and good intent. The second reason was my husband’s reaction to her yelling at him to throw a “Hail Mary”.  He would just smile and shake his head, No.

Read more after the jump!

–

“A Hail Mary isn’t a go to play.  It’s a last desperate attempt.  As a coach, you hope you’ll never need to throw a Hail Mary!” he would explain.   My husband may not have wanted to throw a Hail Mary, but…there where times over the years when he had to and they were indeed last ditch efforts to avoid imminent disaster. I can remember a few times that they worked, but mostly they didn’t.  The quarterback drops back, sets his feet firmly, pulls his arm back  behind his head, and lets go of the highest and hardest ball he can throw.  As a fan, you follow the desperate high flying path, holding your breath, and yes, saying a little prayer, “Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee…”.   When they work, they are received as the miracle they are with cheers and shock.  But, success is rare and usually, loss cannot be avoided.

This is the penultimate episode, the next to the last,…I’m struck by how aptly Outlander episode 12 has been titled.  Jamie and Claire will indeed be faced with a need for a last ditch effort, a Hail Mary.  They will find themselves in a desperate situation and with no options left to them except a last despairing action.  History marches on and Jamie’s prediction that they may find themselves looking over the abyss that is Culloden Moor appears to have become reality. I’m sure we will see them plant their feet firmly and let loose their best and last effort.  They know the odds are stacked against them, but they will go down fighting until the end because so much hangs in the balance.  We all know they will fail, but we will watch holding our breath and saying a little prayer, “Hail Mary, full grace, the Lord is with thee…”

Last season, the penultimate episode contained some of the most remarkable performances I have ever seen.

I can’t imagine these next two episode will be any less so. This truly is a wonderful show, lovingly crafted and bravely performed.  As a reader of Diana Gabaldon’s books, I knew what was going to happen to Jamie in Wentworth.  As difficult as I knew it would be, I watched. It was difficult and horrifying and… moving. What will happen at Craig Na Dun will be different, but no less difficult, horrifying, and moving.  The worst will happen. They will be unable to change history. Without spoiling anything for those who haven’t read, I will say that circumstances will force them to make the choice they have been trying to avoid all season.  Jamie will make sure that Claire is safe.  What that means to both of them brings tears to my eyes even as I type.

I have let go of many of my expectations of seeing and hearing things exactly as they are in the books. I am truly okay with keeping the two separate and enjoy them both, but I am hopeful that they will keep some scenes and dialogue the same.  There was some powerful and poignant things written by Diana about that flight to those stones.

“I stood still, vision blurring, and in that moment, I heard my heart break. It was a small, clean sound, like the snapping of a flower’s stem.”
― Diana Gabaldon, Dragonfly in Amber

“D’ye think I don’t know?” he asked softly. “It’s me that has the easy part now. For if ye feel for me as I do for you-then I’m asking you to tear out your heart and live without it.”
― Diana Gabaldon, Dragonfly in Amber

“I will find you,” he whispered in my ear. “I promise. If I must endure two hundred years of purgatory, two hundred years without you – then that is my punishment, which I have earned for my crimes. For I have lied, and killed, and stolen; betrayed and broken trust. But there is the one thing that shall lie in the balance. When I shall stand before God, I shall have one thing to say, to weigh against the rest.”

His voice dropped, nearly to a whisper, and his arms tightened around me.

Lord, ye gave me a rare woman, and God! I loved her well.”
― Diana Gabaldon, Dragonfly in Amber

Like the last two episodes of last season, I will steel myself to watch knowing that what  I will see will be difficult to get through.

But, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

I will cry. I will take in ragged breaths. My heart will be filled with the bittersweet knowledge of the soul deep love felt and lost by these two.  And, I will say another prayer, “Lord, may she be safe. She and the child…”